Living Wonders : 7 myths about sex that you need to stop believing
Think back to your teenage years and all of the wild and just-not-true things you used to believe about sex.
There seems to be an endless amount of myths and urban legends when it comes to sex. Unfortunately, these fabrications are what muddies up the water when it comes to helping couples with intimacy issues and they can stay with us into adulthood.
Myth: All orgasms feel the same — and they should be explosive.
Truth: Kait Scalisi, MPH, intimacy educator and founder of PassionbyKait.com, told INSIDER that orgasms exist on a spectrum from whisper quiet to mind-blowing. "No sensation feels the same all the time," she said. Lots of factors play into how your body processes sensation, whether that's pleasure, pain, or anything else.
Myth: What you do during sex determines how good your sex life is.
Truth: "Most of what matters for sex has nothing to do with sex itself," Scalisi told INSIDER. Instead, she explained that it's about creating the right context for intimate, exciting, and fulfilling sex.
For most people, Scalisi said that context is high trust, low stress, and high affection. "By reducing the things in your life that turn you off, you're generally more easily able to enjoy the moment and find freedom in pleasure."
Myth: If you're aroused, you shouldn't need lubricant.
Truth: Needing more lubrication than your body produces doesn't mean you're not aroused. Dr. Ava Cadell, clinical sexologist and AASECT certified sex counselor, told INSIDER that a lot of people equate wetness with how turned on they are, but that’s not necessarily an accurate barometer.
"Your monthly cycle, pregnancy, illness, menopause, medications (such antihistamines and decongestants) can affect lubrication, no matter how much water you drink," she shared. Cadell even suggests lube when using condoms since latex doesn’t slide well even if you're naturally lubricated.
Myth: You can be addicted to a vibrator.
Truth: Not exactly, said Scalisi. "What can happen is that your body gets used to experiencing orgasm in a particular way — in other words, you get stuck in a rut with your toy," she said.
The more you do something, the stronger those neural pathways are. When you try to do the same thing differently, it's harder and may feel awkward. She recommended changing up how you use vibrators. Use different toys, on different settings, in different positions, and with different sensations and amount of pressures.
"Even if you climax faster and more easily with battery-powered assistance, a vibrator won't ruin your ability to achieve orgasm with your partner," said Cadell. She suggested introducing your partner to the vibrator, especially if you're self-conscious about how long it takes to climax without one.
Myth: All women can experience orgasm through intercourse.
Truth: Only about 20%-30% of women experience orgasm through intercourse alone, explained Cadell. "So don't be shy about reaching down and giving yourself a hand or abuzz. Putting your hand on your clitoris during sex really ups the chances that you'll have an orgasm," she said.
Myth: In order to enjoy intimacy, men have to ejaculate each time they have intercourse or any type of sexual contact.
Truth: Dr. Cristina Romero-Bosch and her husband Dr. John Robinson, aka The Sex Docs, told INSIDER that men often feel that sexual contact is merely the means to the inevitable end that is ejaculation. They explained that men can and should slow down enough to enjoy the process, and know that they don't have to ejaculate to have fun.
Myth: A penis needs to be large in order for your partner to have a satisfying sexual experience.
Truth: "Many of the highly sensitive areas of the vaginal canal are within an inch or two of the vaginal opening," explained Romero-Bosch and Robinson. "So even a relatively small penis can get the job done."
They also shared that sexual arousal and satisfaction is not just about vaginal penetration.
"Better sex comes from foreplay, taking your time, finding other erogenous zones like the neck, nipples, and ears. And connecting at an emotional level, for both men and women, is always at the core of why someone wants and needs intimacy," they explained.
Take time to talk and communicate and watch how your sex life improves.
Source : Insider